Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize