We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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