I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
