Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
