Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
