what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
