what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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