what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
