i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i came on her dog
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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