He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
