she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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