He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize