he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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