I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
