I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
