I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
