i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
