Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
