i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
