My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
