Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
