Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
