this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
