When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize