I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
