the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
