Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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