so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
