I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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