Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
