I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
