What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize