I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
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