I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
