You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
