Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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