Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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