girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
