It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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