didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
