there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
