I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
