if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
