so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
