he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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