bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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