Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
