so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
