I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish i was in the wii world.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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