No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
