He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
