i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
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