I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
