If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
