i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
