How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize