fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we're making bets on your personal life
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
