She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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