He kissed a someone with a penis
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
