You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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