I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
