i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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