Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
