We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
