it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
