butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
