I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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