is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
