ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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