i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
